And it‘s something we‘re supposed to have found or wanting to find in our life, whereas I strongly believe, that we may only strive for it, but hardly attain. Hardly because of many things that are beyond our reach, like seasons, weather, people around us. And because of ourselves, because we are constantly evolving, our priorities may change, we discover new ways of doing something, we get new inspirations. So I‘m sometimes asking myself about what is it actually so imporant in that balanced state – isn‘t it always a little imbalance, discomfort, that pushes us to move on, to develop and evolve. Finally that‘s how the physicians explain the reason everything could ever come into existence – through this teeny-tiny imbalance between matter and anti-matter at the very beginning of the Universe and so it went on, being the core of any progress ever since.
That‘s why in my opinion there is little or no need about being obsessed with balance. More important is in my mind something that I‘d call balance of the moment, a deeper inner balance, a rather short moment of time, a very precious moment, mostly ephemeral, but strong and powerful, like connection to something/someone superior beyond, and then it slips aways and let us back grateful for having experienced it, maybe a little bit stronger, maybe with more energy to face the imbalances of our „back-to-normal“ life. For me it‘s while walking through the forest, facing the ocean, painting, sketching new ideas, reading and painting with my little girl, newly taking yoga classes, just to name a few, and this deeper inner balance arises mostly unexpectedly. It comes and goes, and I neither can, nor want to achieve it deliberately or in any other analytical way, for it would be fake. Any other balance is in my opinion a logical construct of expectations, goals, settings and so on, and it is because of that limitating in its nature.
And just like this I‘ve actually completely abandoned the initial idea about writing a post on balance like something that may be continiously necessary in order to be productive/creative/true to ourselves and so on. I've found another subject that seemed more important to talk about now, when I'm writing about creativity.
For me it‘s normal to sit between the chairs, to feel the discomfort about whatever I do or can do, and that it can or would be below my expectations, and I accept not to fight against it. And here I come to what has replaced the balance from the subject heading – I come to expectations.
Important for me is not to get framed with expectations, not to let them build in my mind what I‘d mistake for some likeness of myself, for this may be the most certain way to never feel free and be able to move. So my point here is, that this image, this expectation-based construct may not be very helpful and should not be made.
Important is feeling alive, moving, embracing new opportunities, taking risks. Important is to loosen the expectations so that they do not tie us up, and that‘s how we can better see new chances. That‘s why I‘m here writing today about importance of leaving the expectations behind.
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